Ryan Tomayko

Check out these HTML5 demos —

A bunch of animated gifs are worth a thousand words.

HTTP Status Code Drinking Game —

Use this to get kicked out of the party.

Never trust a programmer who says he knows C++ —

Classic.

How Software Engineers and Designers Can Increase Their Focus —

Finally, a How To Be Productive system I can get behind:

Q: Favorite web or mobile apps for getting focused?

A: I don’t use apps to get focused. Playing around with productivity apps is just another way to procrastinate. You become more productive by getting into the habit of doing actual work regularly, not by constantly thinking about how you can get more work done.

I don’t even use a to-do app. If something is important, I’ll remember it. If I have an idea I’m afraid I might forget, I set a reminder in my calendar on a date when I know I’ll have time to work on it. On that date, I’ll either work on it, discard it, or reschedule it.

Don’t miss Lukas’s definitive tip for massive increasing productivity and intelligence at the end. It’s money in the bank.

WTF - Haml —

I love this so much:

… one way or another it seems I need something called EMACS.. WTF..!!!!! I dare you to install it and see how many WTFsss you will say…. it’s like some text editor that is so smart that you dont use the mouse dont even use the cursor keys..if you want to go back one character you hit control then B!!! Brilliant!!! two random keys instead of one with an arrow!!!! WWWTTTFFFF!! ok I might not need this crap…. lost a day learning to use the Rubik cube of text editors.

It’s easy to pfft and blow off this kind of … criticism, but if you can look past the make believe grammar and punctuation you really do get a sense for how hard it is for newbies to wrap their heads around even very basic set of tools needed to build things on the web. Maybe what we do is just hard and complex and there’s nothing we can do to make it simpler. I’m just always surprised when I get to peek through someone else’s eyes and see just how fucked up everything must seem.

/dev/fort —

A master plan:

Imagine a place of no distractions, no IM, no Twitter — in fact, no internet. Within, a group of a dozen or more developers, designers, thinkers and doers. And a lot of a food.

Now imagine that place is a fort.

They’re serious:

ASCII Table - The Pronunciation Guide —

ASCII punctuation characters and their various pronunciations. e.g., the entry for Exclamation point (!) lists:

exclamation (mark), (ex)clam, excl, wow, hey, boing, bang, shout, yell, shriek, pling, factorial, ball-bat, smash, cuss, store, potion (NetHack), not (UNIX) ©, dammit (UNIX)

That last one has a footnote: “as in ‘quit, dammit!’ while exiting vi and hoping one hasn’t clobbered a file too badly.”

"It's like twitter. Except we charge people to use it." —

This email exchange is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever read on the web. Here’s a tiny piece:

Actually, you were asking me to design a logotype which would have taken me a few hours and fifteen years experience. For free. With pie charts. Usually when people don’t ask me to design them a logo, pie charts or website, I, in return, do not ask them to paint my apartment, drive me to the airport, represent me in court or whatever it is they do for a living. Unfortunately though, as your business model consists entirely of “Facebook is cool, I am going to make a website just like that”, this non exchange of free services has no foundation as you offer nothing of which I wont ask for.

It’s just pages and pages of that.

Thank you @mojombo.

UPDATE: @SimonEdhouse responds
UPDATE: zing

Message: Re: [rest-discuss] REST-* —

Whoa. There’s some serious shit poppin' off on the rest-discuss mailing list lately. Here’s Roy Fielding (completely out of context):

Quite frankly, this is the single dumbest attempt at one-sided “standardization” of anti-REST architecture that I have ever seen. It even manages to one-up the previous all-time-idiocy of IBM when they renamed their CORBA toolkit “Web Services” in a deliberate attempt to confuse customers into thinking they had something to do with the Web.

It doesn’t get any better from there :) I saw the REST-* site a few weeks ago but I (literally) thought it was a joke site. The sad thing is that, if the past is a predictor of the future, Jboss/Redhat will probably be able to convince a large chunk of enterprise IT managers that they are REST.

Circle of death —

Nice diagram. I’m way too familiar with this process.

Sinatra Rack And Middleware —

Amazing! I put Ben under the table that night. Tucked him into bed and gave him a kiss.

Comcast Van Towage / Songbird Tow Fail Ritual —

“I was having sort of a crap day, and spending 10 minutes watching this guy get towed completely brightened my day up. I normally feel slightly guilty watching everyday people’s cars get towed – so it was nice not to have any conscience eating at me this time.”

Enterprise static files —

This reddit comment makes me wish lesscode.org was still around :)

"Unix is a system computers use to define time." —

proggit on shoddy reporting by NPR.

Cornify - Unicorns & Rainbows On-Demand —

If I was stranded on a desert island and could bring only one website …

PEE - App Store Popularity EnhancEr —

You cannot find this special offer anywhere else. A Twitter client, a fart noise generator, and a flashlight, all in one app for the iPhone. Act now!

“By installing Java, you will be able to experience the power of Java” —

Funniest thing I’ve seen on Joel on Software in quite some time.

No More Secrets —

Ian McKeller shows how easy it is to find web API “secret keys” when the user has access to the (network) client code. It’s actually a nice little crash coarse in how to write cracking software (here “crack” means warez scene type “crack”). That crazy shit like this is possible is why I got into software in the first place. Completely

Extension/Scripting language comparisons - comp.lang.scheme —

“While I do consider the adjective ‘baroque’ to be a compliment, I must point out that Perl is actually more of a romantic piece, with allusions to various classical motifs. My favorite composer is Mahler, which should surprise no one.” — Larry Wall

11 Words That Sound Offensive, But Aren't —

I almost died.

Is Merb Rails? —

“Built with Rack Middleware ONLY (Rails 4.0)”

Concluding Remarks —

Jean-Jacques Dubray: “How do the RESTafarians work? They take Roy’s REST, they try to use it for anything in their day to day activities, and then when they stumble upon a problem, they try to find a more or less ‘RESTful’ solution and post it on a blog.”

Precisely!

cowsay(1) —

Best. Program. Ever.

Obama 'could stop using e-mail' —

BBC: “The paper quoted aides saying that his emails, sometimes sent as late as 0100 or 0300, were ‘generally crisp, properly spelled and free of symbols or emoticons’.”

Can you imagine?

Dear Mr. Karzai,

im in ur country, bombing ur lands. =p

k thx.
--
- O

Rails vs Merb ¿drama? —

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Reverse HTTP —

Allows a server to turn the tables and make HTTP requests to the client. I’ve been trying to come up with some use for this for 45 minutes and I’m totally baffled but it’s kind of interesting anyways.

Qwitter: Catching Twitter quitters —

Sends an email notification when someone stops following you on Twitter. I don’t have the nervous system for it myself.

Dear Leg-Shaker —

I’m pretty sure this exact thought occurs to everyone that sits at a table connected to mine on a daily—maybe hourly—basis. I’m sorry!

The Subprime Primer —

The financial crisis explained using the crappiest cartoon stick figures ever. Also, the best overview I’ve seen yet.

Documents Reveal Django Pony, Caught In Tail Of Lies —

Aha!

Dead Man's Switch —

Sends emails to people when you die. Awesome.

“This is how this works. You write a few e-mails, and choose the recipients. These emails are encrypted with military-grade algorithms, so you can be sure that no-one except the intended recipient will ever read them. Your switch will email you every so often, asking you to show that you are fine by clicking a link. If something were to… happen… to you, your switch would then send the emails you wrote to the recipients you specified. Sort of an ‘electronic will’, one could say.”

UNIX —

Talk about a religious attachment…

Typography for Lawyers —

For lawyers?!?? This site is way too useful and right to limit it to lawyers.

bacon.reddit.com -- Bacon - Nuff' Said... —

An active community of bacon lovers with 2,356 members.

Shaper_pmp explains the importance of pedantry —

“It also becomes a good-natured game. Think of it like golf. In golf you’re trying to hit the ball into the hole in fewer strokes than your opponent. In Pedantry Golf you’re trying to be more correct than your opponent, by correcting edge-cases, mistakes or assumptions in the previous post or statement (see also: Perl Golf).”

xkcd - The End is Not for a While —

Is xkcd ever going to stop being funny?

Caganer —

“… the caganer is often tucked away in a corner of the model, typically nowhere near the manger scene. There is a good reason for his obscure position in the display, for ‘caganer’ translates from Catalan to English as ‘pooper’, and that is exactly what this little statue is doing — defecating.”

How I Roll… —

Who says legibility and correct punctuation aren’t street?

Today is the Day —

The greatest thing I’ve ever seen on the internet.

[The entire web is] Best viewed with [anything but any] Internet Explorer based browser —

Nice badge!

rsync.net - Terms of Service —

Nice TOS: “We are engineers, and we, like you, know very well how you want to be served by us, just as you know very well what not to do here.”

The Letter in the Pond —

Letter found hidden beneath a backyard pond to the person who would eventually remove the pond. One of the best pieces of writing I’ve seen all year.

Firefox Add-on: AmIOnMySpace.com —

“This plugin will alert you if you accidentally stumble onto MySpace.com, and take you back to the site you came from.”

Office Worker Goes Absolutely Insane Video —

NFW!

No Smoking —

“It is against the law to break the law in these premises, or anywhere!”

The giant cow that's the size of a baby elephant —

… and other freakishly large animal pr0n. Awesome. (via sogrady)

xkcd: Forks and Spoons —

Reading xkcd has become one of my last regular forms of physical exercise. My abs are burning right now from violent guttural reactions to this one.

Just add scaling! —

“I still haven’t found anyone who knows how you implement Scaling in a language, so I guess that LRM will never have it… Anyone who care to enlighten me, please send me a detailed email with an implementation of Scaling.”

‘I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!’: A Guide to Proper Usage —

I finally watched “There Will Be Blood” a few days ago and the milkshake line practically jumps out of the movie at you. I have no idea what the hell happened in the movie but that line made it all worth while.

That Vista Thud is the sound of executive layoffs —

eWeek: “… Nearly every Microsoft executive associated with the Windows Vista launch has left the company. Vista has proven to be a career-ending enterprise …”

My initial reaction to Google App Engine (in Simon Willison's comments) —

I’ve since went to sleep and reawakened. I’m typically fairly curmudgeony when I wake up but I’m still having the same reaction.

Indexed —

The more interesting aspects of life described using only venn diagrams, an occasional line graph, and a scatter plot here and there.

Scientists fight to save the last Java gibbons —

I thought this was a computer programming related article … buh-zing!

Dion Almaer's Home Page —

This takes “the use of code in weblog titles” to a whole new level. Hilarious.

New Blog Name - { |one, step, back| } —

Patch accepted!

Mozilla Bug 417302 – about:robots —

“In the spirit of the Firefox 3 firstrun pages, I would like to permanently commemorate the noble deeds of the robot community in their fight for an open web.”

The Ten Commandments of Unicode —

“I am Unicode, thy character set. Thou shalt have no other character sets before me.”

Javascript online massive social password cracking ? —

Yes! Please. Make your friends on myspace work for you. Idle CPU is wasted CPU, dontchaknow.

NginxHttpEmptyGifModule —

“The ngx_http_empty_gif_module keeps a 1x1 transparent GIF in memory that can be served very quickly.” — That’s so amazingly awesome; spacer.gif for life.

Dumb and Dumber in 5 Seconds [youtube.com] —

This is far and away the funniest part of the movie… Whelp, see ya later.

Unfortunately, I think it's a little more complicated than that... —

“Math class is tough; let’s go shopping!”

The recursive implementation of /bin/true —

This is why I love Unix.

IBM Web services guru predicts WSDL future —

From 2002: “On this latter specification, Sutor is emphatic: web services are defined by whether they are described in WSDL.”

This is where you send new features into the ghetto so that they can 'battle it out' ... —

“The last features standing get re-integrated into another branch known as the ‘trailer park’ to try to find a new life for themselves. Note that ghetto is frequently called ‘trunk’, and the trailer park something like ‘releng’”

RubyForge: cameltoe-0.0.1-released —

“Cameltoe is a set of utility functions for making Ruby objects more like camel toes.” — You’ve piqued my interest :) It looks like this adds a String#cameltoeize method, amongst other things…

W3C's Excessive DTD Traffic —

“Our hope was that the authors of misbehaving software and the administrators of sites who deployed it would notice these errors and make the necessary fixes to the software responsible.” – You must be new here.

Translation From PR-Speak to English of Selected Portions of Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang's Company-Wide Memo Regarding the Microsoft Takeover Bid —

“Welcome to Microsoft.”

Will Ferrell Crashes CNBC Power Lunch —

He’s insane.

Cable cuts, conspiracies, and lolsubs... —

“Jimmycarter-sub iz in ur oceanz … tapping ur fib3rz”

Modern Firefox Theme That Looks Like Netscape 3.0 Running On Windows 3.1 —

This is pretty funny. Even the options dialogs are themed.

Yoda Fail —

“… sued the restaurant where she worked saying she was promised a new Toyota for winning a beer sales contest in April. Berry, 26, believed that she had won a new car, but she was blindfolded, led to the parking lot and presented a toy Yoda …”

Microsoft Boy Announces His School Homework —

“What is catching users' eyes? Legibility, correctness, conciseness…. the list goes on and on. Simply put, this history essay is a significant release for me – one that builds on all of the great things that I was able to deliver last year […]”

“The Bug Count Also Rises” by John Browne —

“Hernando who worked down the hall and who was large with microbrews came to him and told him that the ship day was upon them but the bugs were not yet out. The bugs which were always there even when you were in Cafes late at night sipping a …”

The Speed-up Loop [thedailywtf.com] —

“Nothing – and I mean nothing – in IT takes less than 80 hours, and whatever you think it’ll actually take, multiply it by 20, and tell management that. You see, 80/20.”

War Breaks Out Between Hackers and Scientology -- There Can Be Only One —

“… people of the Internet, the YTMNDers, trolls of the world, the GameFAQs members, the eBaumers; us old time Internet users, and the newest of noobs, the YouTubers and MySpacers, must band together for a fight that transcends our differences …” :)

The Standard Trolls —

Microsoft missing the point with regards to “standards”? Inconceivable! Every time I read stuff like this I wonder if it’s intellectual dishonesty or if the folks over at MS are really this ignorant. You have to lean toward dishonesty here, I think.

Rap Lyrics Explained With Charts and Graphs —

Includes a nice chart of the Differentiation of Fat Joe’s Liquid Based Promiscuity :)

Provide us with the email address we should not contact. —

Makes sense to me.

Sun and MySQL: I don't get it —

Oops: “At $1 billion … Sun paid a multiple of 10 times sales for MySQL today. Optimistically assuming a 20% profit margin, they are looking at a multiple of 50 times earnings for a return on investment of around 2% per year. Optimistically.”

How Software Companies Die —

Orson Scott Card: “You can domesticate programmers the way beekeepers tame bees. You can’t exactly communicate with them, but you can get them to swarm in one place and when they’re not looking, you can carry off the honey.”

The apostrophe key does not mean "Holy shit, here comes an s!" —

“You think your better then me just because you no grammar?” :)

I need a woman who is willing to raise a child with me in the method of Unix —

“Other than the fact our child will be bright, text-based and sarcastic, we will otherwise be a normal family.”

Flunked: 14 Signs of a Deficient Intellect —

“Groj Sale”

DNA seen through the eyes of a coder —

“Like with unix, cells are not ‘spawned’ – they are forked. All cells started out from your ovum which has forked itself many times since. Both halves of the fork() are identical to begin with, but they may from then on decide to do different things.”

depressing —

“maybe try coding something in c”

Using a Mac…why oh why? —

“It all started with Windows Vista”

Merriam-Webster name "w00t" 2007 Word of the Year —

w00t!

Python —

“Whitespace?”

PEP 3117 -- Postfix type declarations —

“After careful considering, much soul-searching, gnashing of teeth and rending of garments, it has been decided to reject this PEP.”

The Two Types of Programmers —

From IMil in comments: “Shocking statement #(n+1): 80% of the 80% believe that they belong to [the] 20%.” A recursively shocking statement! i.e., (0..Infinity).inject (0.8) { |x,n| x * 0.8 }

How to tell if a web page sucks —

Beautifully executed.

Anti-Terrorism and the Death of the Chemistry Set —

“Modern fascist states don’t even bother to kill those people, and pretending they’re going to show up in some stormtrooper outfit and start a gun battle with you is insane.”

Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters —

“No one party has a monopoly on bullshit” … “it’s not just about talking bullshit, it’s also about living it…”

The New BackUp Commercial —

“… and mounts your shotgun flush at your bedside enabling access to your shotgun while in the laying position in your bed!”

http://xkcd.com/327/ —

“Did you really name your son Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;—?”

An unordered list of thoughts I had during a conference call with a potential client today —

“Facebook isn’t the internet, dipshit.”

Paul Graham Facts —

“Paul Graham can divide by zero — and the answer is ‘Paul Graham’” … “Paul Graham invented Al Gore” … “Paul Graham is a default constructor. He takes no arguments.”

The Mythical Business Layer —

“It was as if its architects were given a perfectly good hammer and gleefully replied, ‘neat! With this hammer, we can build a tool that can pound in nails.’” — that is THE SINGLE FUNNIEST SENTENCE ever assembled in the history of english language!

/sys/man/1/emacs —

The emacs(1) manpage from Bell Labs’s Plan 9.

Obie Fernandez : Ruby on Rails and More... —

“I’m not really much into evangelizing Ruby and Rails much nowadays. You know, since we won, I have to admit that it became boring and besides the point.” :)

Inappropriate "Talk Like a Pirate Day" remarks —

“Aaaaaaaar! Home a day early, ye are, husband. This varmint a poor stranger be who lost his clothes.” :)

LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! [youtube.com] —

I just had this exact conversation with my wife. No one understands…

Jonathan Swift - A Modest Proposal —

An oldy but goody :)

Last Harry Potter leaks online [boingboing.net] —

“With the last book, the publisher was so freaked out about ebook piracy that they refused to release an official electronic edition. The result? Fans made their own electronic text in 24 hours. And other fans translated the book into German in 45 hours.”

3D Mailbox - FREE 3-Dimensional Email Software. Bring e-mail to life! (And put spam to death!) —

This just ruined my day. I’m going home. Absolutely horrible. Just horrible.

Words to Live By —

“Always code as if the person who will maintain your code is a maniac serial killer that knows where you live.”

Philosophy of numbers —

“So there you have it — lack of units in programming languages and the war in Iraq have a common cause: the lack of correct philosophy on numbers taught in schools.”

CNN 0wned during Paris Hilton Coverage —

Ha!

Evolution of a Python programmer —

“Web designer” is dead on :)

sog’s (Unconventional) Highway Etiquette [redmonk.com] —

Beautifully done, sir. This should be required reading before anyone is allowed to hit an onramp.

Open Letter to Jonathan Schwartz from NeoOffice.org —

Best Open Letter Ever. Add your signature!

HTTPanties [thinkgeek.com] —

“413 Requested Entity Too Large”

Does JavaFX Spell The End Of AJAX? —

Is anyone actually falling for this crap? “‘The goal is to make it so people never have to see code’, said Gosling.” — Gag Me!

How to make a Ninja Mask with a shirt —

This should immediately supercede your present Ninja Mask technique.

Did Microsoft just patent sudo? —

What’s next? which(1)?

The Day Digg Went Crazy —

“It’s a mutiny of sorts.”

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0 [google.com] —

“Results 1 – 10 of about 283,000 for 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0” – This is officially the craziest thing I’ve ever seen on the internet (with the exception of the Hasselhoffian Recursion).

Streisand effect [wikipedia.org] —

“Streisand Effect is a category of Internet phenomena in which an attempt to censor or remove a certain piece of information instead backfires, causing the information in question to receive extensive publicity…”

Coprolitic Programming [thecodist.com] —

‘The next time you think to sigh, “this code is such a pile of crap” imagine what your grandchildren will say some day when they work on it.’

Translation From PR-Speak to English of Selected Portions of Rails Developer David Heinemeier Hansson’s Response to Alex Payne’s Interview [dive into mark] —

Pppkkkeeeewwwww.. The happy universe explodes. This is turning into one hell of a discussion.

The Truth About Lisp —

“Paul Graham originally wrote reddit, in lisp, on the back of a napkin while he was waiting for a coffee. it was so powerful that it had to be rewritten in python just so that ordinary computers could understand it.”

Blowing a raspberry [wikipedia.org] —

“In the terminology of phonetics, this sound does not appear to have an official name, but might be characterized as a linguolabial trill. It is never used in human language phonemically, but it is widely used across human cultures and by other primates”

Blogger’s Code of Boring Irrelevance —

“If I want to publish a picture that shows Ronald McDonald smoking a joint made out of the rain forests, I can.”

have u seen an idea even billGates shouldn't hear Mr.Guido ? please read because it's important. —

“also it could be disguised as a cancer research stuff should some disassamble its code. the use-free-computer-time type of thing they do on the net.”

You are kidding arent you? —

“Microsoft just spent $9 billion and many years to create Vista, so it does not sound reasonable that some new alternative could just snap into existence overnight like that. It would take billions of dollars and a massive effort to achieve.” :)

A Faster Ruby. —

“Well if Ruby developers are so damn productive, why can’t they write a faster ruby?”

ROA Maturity Model —

How did we ever get anything done without superfluous quadrants and models. Bring ‘em on. The trick is making something every developer would know is a joke but that could make it past a manager or architect.

How the vi editor would seem if it has been made by Microsoft —

“It looks like you are trying to do a regular expression. Do you need some help with that?”

Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal [youtube.com] —

Oh man. This song was not this horribly bad when I was a kid.

Lisp [xkcd.com] —

:)

Fun with Vista's Speed Recognition [innoq.com] —

Press caps locks. Press caps lock. PRESS CAPS LOCK! Press capital I. Delete I. Press capital I. DELETE I SCROLL THIS CONFLICT. DELETE ADULT SCROLLS CONFLICT FOR C … THANK YOU! Delete THINK YOU.

When You Wish Upon a Beard —

Wow.I shudder to even observe the brilliance that is _why. There’s an actual Cut-out Adventure Beard here.

int getRandomNumber() [xkcd.com] —

// guaranteed to be randon :)

How much is inside Ramen noodles? [answered] —

Great research like this is what I love most about the internet.

Bill Gates (clearly on crack): "Nowadays, security guys break the Mac every single day." —

“Every single day, they come out with a total exploit, your machine can be taken over totally. I dare anybody to do that once a month on the Windows machine.”

Lifecycle of a bad idea [dive into mark] —

While not all bad ideas include a PowerPoint presentation, all PowerPoint presentations include at least one bad idea: PowerPoint.

your clever screen name is not clever —

“There’s a time and place for a penis decal on your forehead and the Monday morning staff meeting is not it.”

Best use of film including Bob Saget —

Funniest part of the movie; hands down.

My Life As An RSS Junkie [medialoper.com] —

Bob Saget: RSS is not a drug! I used to [expletives deleted] for coke. Other Guy: I saw him! Bob Saget: Now that’s an addiction, man. You ever [expletives deleted] for RSS?

Amos O. Olagunju / St. Cloud State University —

This is the “home page” of a professor who teaches web design at St. Cloud State University. Don’t go there.

Greg the Architect - SOA This. SOA That. —

“Buhdooy!”

Jan. 22, 1984: Dawn of the Mac [wired.com] —

“But the company’s board of directors balked and ordered the ad withdrawn from its Super Bowl slot. Only the intervention of Steve Wozniak, who said he’d pay for the spot personally if the board refused to air it, saved the day.”

In Which I Think About Java Again, But Only For A Moment —

“… but I gave up after optimizing AWT, implementing drag and drop, and trying to make 1,200 pages of crappy APIs do the right thing on the Mac. Then I took a one-week Cocoa training course, and wrote the first prototype of iChat.”

Fully licensed —

“I hope you can wipe the screen off!” — I fell off my chair.

Lines From Alanis Morissette's "Ironic," Modified to Actually Make them Ironic —

“A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break… at the R.J. Reynolds Tobacco corporate offices in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.”

New Ipod!!!!! (SNL) [youtube.com] —

The original SNL / Steve Jobs skit. This is a classic as far as I’m concerned.

Steve Jobs iPhone on Weekly Update [youtube.com] —

Nails it.

TeleTech / Verizon Exit Interview —

Q: Did you learn all you needed to know to be capable of doing the job? A: Yes, bullshitting through the interview provided me with the skills to effectively bullshit to customers…

Everybody LOVES a math joke —

“A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician were sitting in a street café watching the crowd…”

What Mongrel Isn't (Or, Write Your Own Damn Web Server) —

“All you have to do is change the internal processing, add 200 more methods to the HTTP parser, serve Bittorrent over Ethernet, and have it save Korean orphans while eating a Mango in the back seat of an El Camino driven by twenty midget clowns.”

The Morning News - MetaFilter in the Ruins —

“When the apocalypse comes, when the world ends as we know it, you can bet someone will be updating Metafilter.”

The (Unofficial) Digg Soundboard —

Cute. The latest Digg flames all in one place :) Kind of Digg zeitgeist, I suppose.

WSDL - Why Services Don't Launch [addsimplicity.com] —

Oh snap!

Proposed Solution To Global Warming —

Fix it at the source: “… Thus I propose that we turn off the Sun for roughly 0.2% of each solar day, or two to four minutes every 24 hours.” Brilliant!

CASEBUILDER™ SOA —

This is too funny: “… provides you with the verbiage you need to explain SOA to non-technical people and ‘sell’ its long-term strategic benefits.”

Creating a password to convince yourself you have traveled back in time —

Brilliant!

demoroniser - correct moronic and gratuitously incompatible Microsoft HTML —

“The demoroniser keeps you from looking dumber than a bag of dirt when your Web page is viewed by a user on a non-Microsoft platform.”

Mr. CooL ICE —

Oh my.

Twelve Days —

“For n = 12 we perform a total of 364 reps! Thank goodness there aren’t 13 days or we’d have to do 454.”

Whatever Happened To The Zune? —

“I have yet to find a women who wants to be squirted with a Zune. I’ve stopped asking.”

Oh Dear Lord! BEEEES! —

“OH DEAR LORD ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN RIGHT NOW.”

Programmer Hierarchy —

Ranks programmers by who they consider themselves superior to. Comedy.

Forn Policy —

Bwwwwaaaaahhhahahaaaaahhaa.

Good Math, Bad Math : Nullity - the Nonsense Number —

That’s what I’m saying. As soon as I saw this guy talking about auto-pilot software crashing a plane due to division by zero, I thought: 5 / 0 rescue nil wtf are you talking about? We’ve had exception handling, conditionals, and NaN forever.

Programming Languages are like Women —

This guy gets around…

Shut the fuck up and write some code??? —

I have no idea … but I’m digging the Kid and TG references ;)

"A Horse Named Paul Revere," a children's book by The Beastie Boys —

All hail the king adrock.

Mike's Michigan Jokes —

Q: What do you call a Michigan cheerleader with two brain cells? A: Pregnant

J2EE SUCKS HUGE DONKEY BALLS. —

“Then they spend one day debugging shit that’s gone wrong with Eclipse (or its mangling of the CVS repository, or some ant dependency problem, or)… And meanwhile they whine that 256 megs of RAM isn’t enough to edit a fucking text file (and do NOTHING el

I plan to travel back to the 1400s. Any advice on how to recreate the Internet? —

“You know what I love about Reddit? Someone can ask a question like this, and not one comment points out how completely ridiculous it is.”

Safety Not Guaranteed —

This is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life.

How We Wish Our SOs Really Talked —

“Why would my sister want to borrow someone else’s broom, you sexist ass? My sister is a lawyer for the friggin' ACLU! before tossing her Napa Valley cab in the poor guy’s face.”

Shell script awk csv file —

“I could whip you up something in Java that would take 2 minutes to design, 30 minutes to implement, a day to write the deployment descriptor for, and 3 months to get sign off from the app support people at the client site _b”

The only Soquid you eat with a Fpoon —

Fpoon, fpoon, fpoon, fpoon, fpoon.

Bogosort —

“The archetypal perversely awful algorithm”

Man Pops Eye-Balls Out Really Far —

“I can pop my eyes out four centimetres each, it is a gift from God, I feel blessed.”

Grue (monster) —

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

Goldmine of Geeky Your Momma Jokes —

Your mom is like HTML, a tiny and a whole lot a .

The Worst Analogies Ever Written in a High School Essay —

“The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and ‘Jeopardy’ comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.”

Howard Zinn & Noam Chomsky debate The Lord of the Rings —

Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn & Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for The Fellowship of the Ring Platinum Series Extended Edition DVD, Part One

Demystifying Scientology's Fundamental Reality -- The BT's —

people pay for this shit?

Science vs. Norse Mythology —

Norse Mythology soooo kicks science’s ass in this issue…

Help Win My Bet —

Help a brother out: “if I could make a website to get 2,000,000 hits, she would have a menage a trois (that’s a threesome to you non french-speakers)”

How to pull an all-nighter —

Fairly acurate prescription…

Everyone Hates the Christians —

“When I became a convert from Judaism to born-again Christianity after watching The Chronicles of Narnia, I thought things were going to get a lot easier for me…”

Comment of the Day. On "Evidence of the Missing Link Found?" —

Evolution is at work. We leave them to themselves and we’ll stick to ourselves, and in another 250,000 years we can eat them as either game or domesticated farm animals. God knows we don’t have to selectively breed them for size.

Tour de Babel —

the best shit ever

The Most Popular Myths in Science Results —

Bullshit: “It takes seven years to digest gum”

Yak Shaving —

I do this all the time…

Celebrating Independence By Making Part of it Illegal —

Best post ever.

Male nipples can keep babies calm —

Serendipitously appeared during a google images search for “newpaper”.

Which Part of "No XML" Don't You Understand? —

Ouch!

Comic Sans was a mistake —

What a surprise!

Thermite burning a hole in a car —

Holy crap! Where can I get some thermite?

How Conservatives Argue: A Case Study —

Bwwwahahahahahahahahhaa..

Chuck Norris Facts —

“Guns don’t kill people, Chuck Norris kills people” :)

web economy bullshit generator —

haha!

anti-telemarketing EGBG counterscript —

Awesome!

rednecksurfing.wmv —

Dumbass..

Bill Gates shouts at Sony CEO that his crappy DRM is less crappy —

I miss this Cory Doctorow: “…a stupid DRM standard for suck-ass next-gen DVDs, arguing that Microsoft’s sellout suck-ass next-gen HD-DVDs are better.”

CSS: Specificity Wars Diagram —

CSS specifity chart based on Sith power levels — to good to be true.

Shining —

hahahahaaaa!

Microsoft blames Sun —

haha. this cracked me up…

ROBERTSON BLAMES HURRICANE ON CHOICE OF ELLEN DEGENERES TO HOST EMMYS —

I don’t even know what to say. Robertson has left reality.

Playmobil - Security Check Point —

Now kids can get in on all the fun of airport security!

COOKING A POT OF DOG GUMBO —

I knew subscribing to the katrina flickr feed would pay off. This is the best picture I’ve seen yet!

Is your son a computer hacker? —

OMFG this is so messed up. I feel so bad for the kid whose parents read this and take it seriously.

Boing Boing's $250,000 Intelligent Design challenge —

“We are willing to pay any individual $250,0000 if they can produce empirical evidence which proves that Jesus is not the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory —

Bwwwhhahahahaaaa

potter crash —

Video of a guy plot-spoiling the latest Harry Potter books to a crowd of many in front of Barnes and Noble.

This Spartan Life - Episode 1 - Module 5 —

Podcasting Red vs. Blue style?

Nine Days Later, White House Press Corps Discovers the Rove-Plame Story —

Whoa. Sock it to ‘em!

Jon Stewart's ('84) Commencement Address —

“Not everybody can wander around in an alcoholic haze and then at 40 just, you know, decide to be president.”

Hotel Lost Liberty —

Brilliant!

All your base are belong to us —

The original european zero-wing introduction followed by a load of AYBABTU spottings in teh wild..

... All Your Base Rhapsody —

oh hell no.

Get Rich Quick With Blogs —

The always insightful James Governor’s with a fist full of insight into insightless topics such t-shirts… weeeeeeee!

Join us now and share the software —

As it turn out, Sun Microsystems owns the word “share” and they aren’t sharing it..

PowerPoint Remix —

that’s some funny shit — “Feynman only needed 2” :)

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah —

haha

Schneier on Security: Disarming Soldiers —

“FAA regulation that requires soldiers — all of whom were armed with an arsenal of assault rifles, shotguns and pistols — to surrender pocket knives, nose hair scissors and cigarette lighters.”

Priest crucifies nun —

Holy crap.

Is Linux For Losers? —

Worse is better.

Java6 delightful new features —

The Sun bashing posts today are superb!

Rejected Sun Microsystems slogans —

Bwwahhahahahaaa.

Drowning in the koolaid —

“Just remember that the next time you use one of the mainstream languages – many of the "features” were designed with the idea in mind that you, the developer, are a moron."

Saddam's Weapon of Mass Destruction —

Finally located while orbiting a strange gaseous planet…

How to Leave a Job on Good Terms? —

Bwwwhhhaaahhaahahaaaaahhaa!

Disco Apache video —

It’s kind of amazing that at some time in some place in this very universe this actually took place.

Accomplishments —

Wow! I didn’t think this was actually possible. I’m sure I’ll try at some point in my life but I don’t have any dilusions about actually reaching Marc’s level of accomplishment.

Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It... —

About time someone noticed.

God is Great, by which I mean, Very Very Large —

that’s some funny shit…

Business Week predicts corporate takeover of blogs —

BusinessWeek has “Blogs” on cover but they don’t get it. Predicting a massive takeover of the blogosphere by major corporations – no one is going to some shitty feed-me-PR blog. We have those today, they’re called “Corporate Websites” and “Magazines”

Will America's Favorite Technology Go Dark? —

Superb slashdot pile-on regarding the switching off of analog TV signals on 1/1/2006. The FCC/MSM do not know what to do since NO ONE will be switched over to digital.

Email destroys the mind faster than marijuana —

I’m sooo screwed.

Rupert Murdoch should buy Jon Udell. —

I wish I could buy Jon Udell; I’d keep him in my cubical to impress my friends.

SCO to Groklaw's PJ: Who Are You? —

Haha! SCO is out of control.

The Brick Testament —

Old Testament meets Lego – brilliant!

Laser-controlled headless zombie flies —

The beauty of science ladies and gentlemen.

United States Patent: 6,880,125 —

“System and method for XML parsing” – BEA Systems, Inc.

Dabblers and Blowhards —

A debunking and satirical look at the collected works of Paul Graham.

New Lisp book on the shelves —

Why Java developers should buy “Practical Common Lisp”.

Upcoming changes in Python 1.5 —

Best c.l.p thread ever: irritating whitespace-based indentation gone, death of for loop, all strings are regular expressions, and WE FINALLYY GET BRACES! (via Hans Nowak)

Fred Von Lohmann (EFF) vs. Theodore Olson (RIAA/MPA) on CSPAN —

The RIAA/MPA lawyer is a complete tool, yo…

The unspoken language of the office —

How to properly use body language to convey your negative feelings at the office…

Necrophilia among ducks ruffles research feathers —

hehe.

Bill sets?fine for low-riding pants —

$50 fines for anyone who displays his or her… wait for it… no. now.. wait for it…. UNDERPANTS! AHHHHHHH!

When is a hacker a "hacker" and when is software flawed? —

that’s what i’m saying, bro..

Dive Winer Just Killed Podcasting —

This is just horrible Dave. Please, stop.. Stop… huuuurrting us.

Cory's Y2K Compliance Statement —

Has this been entered into the smithsonian yet?

What happens when you meet Tim Berners-Lee? —

heh.

Microsoft to Demo at EclipseCon 2005! —

wtf: “Visual Studio lead program manager Jason Weber to show how to build extensions for Microsoft’s IDE.”

JBoss Killed Hunter S Thompson —

Another reason to hate JBoss. :)

First Video Game Written In Ant —

For christ sakes, man! I hope Hani doesn’t ever see this…

Microsoft's first explicit anti-GNU/Linux ad —

From Oct 23, 2000 issue of the German language magazine c’t

The HotSpot source code is a bad joke —

Oh, my. 3 Millions lines of C++, awk, sed, and scheme! “lets make everything OOP and add 100 layers” style. This is an instant classic.

Best Voicemail Ever! —

“She just hit em in the head with a bible!!”

Politics-Oriented Software Development —

“Someone who points out a problem early is a troublemaker; someone who fixes a problem at the last minute is a hero.”

Rockys Back —

Rocky warm-up spoof. This guy is my hero.

Open Sores Software Development —

“Save Money, Save Time, Save Your Ass”

Google Maps find Weapons of Mass Destruction —

Google for president!

How To Write Unmaintainable Code —

“In the interests of creating employment opportunities in the Java programming field, I am passing on these tips from the masters on how to write code that is so difficult to maintain, that the people who come after you will take years to make even the si

Chicago's public sculpture can't be photographed by the public —

Oh horse shit!

Gizoogle - Fo all you beotches who wanna find shiznit —

All yo resizzle is shizzilated and shizzle, nizzle..

PlaysMaybe —

Finally, CE manufacturers will be placing a badge on their crippled-with-DRM devices to inform the consumer that said devices suck and should be considered broken. Oddly enough, the badge reads: PlaysForSure.

Worst weatherman ever —

This is almost too painful to watch.

HOWTO: Mod a microwave to melt iron —

Perfect science experiment for the kids.

Why is the president's daughter throwing signs? —

“Is it me, or is Jenna Bush holding up the sign of Satan next to her father’s face?”

Prepare to lose your mind —

AAaahhhhhhhh! Stop! Make it stop!

Darth Tater & Wookiee Soaker: New Star Wars Toys —

Check out the new Star War’s themed Mr. Potatohead lineup.

Ban Comic Sans —

Putting the Sans in Comic Sans – The source for anti-comic sans propoganda.

Hacking Coke Machines —

Fun!

Electr-O-Sketch —

Hooking a mouse up to the Etch A Sketch.. Impressive!

Old People —

Gabe from Penny Arcade let’s the geezers in on this little secret the whipper-snappers have been hoarding to themselves called “The Internet.” Check it out at your local library!

Comic Sans Anti Fucking Piracy —

A nice rant against the Movie Picture Association’s recent inclusion of scary anti-piracy propoganda in DVD and cinema reels.

Worlds Largest Blue Screen of Death —

nice…

Bill Gates: Free Culture advocates = Communists —

At least we got a cool flag out of the ordeal..

The New York Times : Letter to the Editor : Are Google's New Libraries a Good Thing? —

hahah ahahahah ahahah ahahaa! BBbwwwwhhahahahaaa! ha. hhhaaa. huuh…. ohhhhhh..

Patent for "Automated Detection of Pornographic Images" —

nice..

Dear Santa —

haha

Dilbert 12/17/2004 —

ouch!

Massive Frog Eats Three-Legged Radioactive Dog! —

The frog is probably radioactive too.. it’s pretty big.

Have a coprophilic Catalan Christmas —

We’ll be adopting this tradition in my home this Christman. no doubt.

The groovy sinking ship —

Hani at his finest, lambasting the Groovy project and the Dynamic Java meetup.

Laptops a Hot Fertility Issue —

I’ve been looking for an alternative to vasectomy.

bugzilla.redhat.com: Bug 127369 —

Best bug report I’ve ever seen in my life.

RE: fedora core 3 goals. —

Icon’s fictitious #redhat IRC transcript relaying some of the issues surrounding the Fedora project from the community’s POV. This is a few months old. I hope some of this has been cleared up.

MSN Spaces: seven dirty blogs —

BoingBoing tests the MSN blogs censors..

Dilbert on Patent Reform (or not) —

Love it..

How to Kill a Mockingbird - The Book Report —

I forgot about the burning shark!

Full-back HTML tattoo —

hardcore!

New Security Vulnerability: Clueless Users —

Oh man that’s sad..

RFC 1925 - The Twelve Networking Truths —

“Good, Fast, Cheap: Pick two.” (via Simon Willison)

Official Rules for Calling Shotgun —

A guide to calling shotgun.

Virgin Mary sandwich —

phaw! how do we know that’s not some other virgin?

communication skills —

Punctuation substitution!

RoboDump 1.0 —

real pooping sounds! fun for the whole office!

Netcraft Results for beta.search.msn.com —

Maybe Balmer could include the fact that msn search runs on Linux in his next “Get The Facts” campaign.

An Alternative to "Traditional" Array Resizing —

The best wtf to date.

Why I Like Windows —

IE team on Firefox 1.0 release. The comments have me rolling on the floor. I can’t believe microsoft is letting these guys keep comments on.

Los Alamos Hermit —

This guy is living the dream. I wonder if there’s room in his cave for me and my powerbook. Does he get wifi in there?

New North America —

Tim Bray redesigns North America for efficiency.

Psychologist Finds Instance Where 'Two Wrongs Do Make A Right' —

ha!

Don’t use a GPS-enabled cellphone to prank call 911 —

good to know..

Dilbert 10/28/2004 —

“something you could never comprehend conflicts with something that you’d never understand.”

Dilbert 10/28/2004 —

“something you could never comprehend conflicts with something that you’d never understand.”

defective yeti —

omfg. make it stop! make the bad man stop!

Crossfire responds to Jon Stewart (washingtonpost.com) —

Includes some quotes from Novak and Carville. Funny Carlson and Begala couldn’t make a single valid point while Stewart was on the show.

Google Search: "Miserable Failure" —

Bwwwaaahahahaaa.

Every 5th Call At Dell Is Spyware-Related —

Dell Exec: “Spyware installed on roughly 90% of computers.”

The Toilet Online - Leave It To Bush! —

US Citizenship 101: Freedom of Expression :)

recent college grads seek entourage - mm4mm —

Almost as good as the guy who was auctioning an “ass whoopin'” on ebay.

The Hole Hawg —

Neal Stephenson on UNIX.

Hard Working George —

It’s hard work! hard hard hard!

The Onion's 2004 Election Guide —

“Bush Vows To Pay Closer Attention To Needs Of Non-Presidents”

Retro TV Themes —

AirWolf, Alf, The A-Team, Fraggle Rock!, Gadget, Knight Rider, Miami Vice, Thundercats!, Transformers, and many many more!

youforgotpoland.com —

looks to be from the guys that brought you rockpapersadam.com.

When (n<0) won't do. —

beautiful, beautiful code.

Writing Bugfree software —

nice..

Yahoo! News - Man Mistakenly Cuts Off Penis, Dog Eats It —

owe

Why Your Code Sucks —

because it isn’t mine.

How to Write Unmaintainable Code —

“Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur. — Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.”

Dear Laura.. —

Breaking up w/ PowerPoint.

Final Warning. Vote for Bush, Feel the Wraith. —

“This is no longer an interesting coincidence. It is an unmistakable message from God.”

Talk Like A Pirate Day - September 19 —

Arrrrr!

Slashdot on Origins and Misuse of the Word Piracy. —

The article is “SVP : More Video Anti-Copying Technology” but the comments on “piracy” are hilarious.

Obsessively detailed map of Springfield —

Map Homer’s daily route from home to moes, to work, to moes, and then back home.

The Adventures of ACTION ITEM! —

I’ve had these exact discussions 1000 times at work with the marketing types. Who knew they could be so exciting?

The secret diary of William Clark —

What really happened on Louis and Clark’s trip.

The INTERCAL Resources Page —

which stands for “Compiler Language With No Pronouncable Acronym”, obviously.

The Time Travel Fund[tm] —

“…we pay the future to come and pick you up..”

Red vs. Blue : Primer on Real Life vs the Internet —

Must watch! Y O U M U S T W A T C H !

Bad Gas - Striking a Lynndie —

“The image has shocked, sickened and outraged people. But more importantly, it has captured the imagination of young men and women up and down the country who don’t give much of a shit about anything.”

What Happens When You Buy a Post Office on eBay —

postoffice.ebay.com

Don't Copy That Floppy —

“Two kids committing the carnal sin of copying a game onto a floppy disk..”

Why specs matter —

Mark pretty obviously prefers morons to assholes.

Blog Interrupted —

Some lady that throws away mail for my very own Sen. Mike DeWine got fired because she kept an anonymous X-Rated blog about relations w/ FIVE upper staffers.

Interviews with the cast of Office Space

fark 106684 —

“Photoshop what the classic Nintendo games would have been like had they been owned by Microsoft originally.”

First look at MSN blogs —

Microsoft outsourcing work on MSN blog site to second graders from local elementary schools. Save the children, fsck the standards!

Brain in Vat —

“The scientific reason for keeping a brain in a jar is keeping a brain in a jar.”

Transcript of interview with Cory Doctorow —

More Doctorow: “I mean, books are printed on substrate that is so fragile that it burns when it comes into contact with oxygen. We actually use that substrate to wipe our asses with. This is not robust, archival material. This is the very definition of ep

Shizzolated Microsoft Research DRM talk, and shit. —

Can’t beat it wit' a stick.

http://markie.biz/ —

Da' Biz!

W3C members: Do as we say, not as we do —

“…only 21, or 4.6 percent, of 454 member sites Karppinen could access passed the W3C’s own HTML validator…”

Just Fucking Google It —

I need to send this link to my mom..

Rock, Paper, Saddam!

Crowds Flock To See Jesus Image In Window —

Click the “Click here for a larger image” button. :)

CensorZilla —

(hold belly).. hardy har har har..

Waking Up Is Hard To Do —

I’m not the only one.. This could be a real disorder.