So you've decided to start a weblog and have a really clever idea for titling it based on a snippet of code you find particularly novel. Rad!
403 Go Away!
Reddit Broke (Sorry).
Need an analogy but don’t have the time to actually think of one your self?
How to not understand the value of a web browser.
One of the many interesting anecdotes waiting for you in Neil Stephenson’s “In The Beginning Was The Command Line”
A report on meeting real life evil people.
Nice TOS: “We are engineers, and we, like you, know very well how you want to be served by us, just as you know very well what not to do here.”
Letter found hidden beneath a backyard pond to the person who would eventually remove the pond. One of the best pieces of writing I've seen all year.
“This plugin will alert you if you accidentally stumble onto MySpace.com, and take you back to the site you came from.”
“It is against the law to break the law in these premises, or anywhere!”
… and other freakishly large animal pr0n. Awesome. (via sogrady)
Reading xkcd has become one of my last regular forms of physical exercise. My abs are burning right now from violent guttural reactions to this one.
“I still haven’t found anyone who knows how you implement Scaling in a language, so I guess that LRM will never have it… Anyone who care to enlighten me, please send me a detailed email with an implementation of Scaling.”
I finally watched “There Will Be Blood” a few days ago and the milkshake line practically jumps out of the movie at you. I have no idea what the hell happened in the movie but that line made it all worth while.
eWeek: “… Nearly every Microsoft executive associated with the Windows Vista launch has left the company. Vista has proven to be a career-ending enterprise …”
I've since went to sleep and reawakened. I'm typically fairly curmudgeony when I wake up but I'm still having the same reaction.
The more interesting aspects of life described using only venn diagrams, an occasional line graph, and a scatter plot here and there.
I thought this was a computer programming related article … buh-zing!
This takes “the use of code in weblog titles” to a whole new level. Hilarious.
Patch accepted!
“In the spirit of the Firefox 3 firstrun pages, I would like to permanently commemorate the noble deeds of the robot community in their fight for an open web.”
“I am Unicode, thy character set. Thou shalt have no other character sets before me.”
Yes! Please. Make your friends on myspace work for you. Idle CPU is wasted CPU, dontchaknow.
“The ngxhttpemptygifmodule keeps a 1x1 transparent GIF in memory that can be served very quickly.” — That’s so amazingly awesome; spacer.gif for life.
This is far and away the funniest part of the movie… Whelp, see ya later.
“Math class is tough; let’s go shopping!”
This is why I love Unix.
From 2002: “On this latter specification, Sutor is emphatic: web services are defined by whether they are described in WSDL.”
“The last features standing get re-integrated into another branch known as the ‘trailer park’ to try to find a new life for themselves. Note that ghetto is frequently called ‘trunk’, and the trailer park something like ‘releng’”
“Cameltoe is a set of utility functions for making Ruby objects more like camel toes.” — You've piqued my interest :) It looks like this adds a String#cameltoeize method, amongst other things…
“Our hope was that the authors of misbehaving software and the administrators of sites who deployed it would notice these errors and make the necessary fixes to the software responsible.” – You must be new here.
“Welcome to Microsoft.”
He’s insane.
“Jimmycarter-sub iz in ur oceanz … tapping ur fib3rz”
This is pretty funny. Even the options dialogs are themed.
“… sued the restaurant where she worked saying she was promised a new Toyota for winning a beer sales contest in April. Berry, 26, believed that she had won a new car, but she was blindfolded, led to the parking lot and presented a toy Yoda …”
“What is catching users' eyes? Legibility, correctness, conciseness…. the list goes on and on. Simply put, this history essay is a significant release for me – one that builds on all of the great things that I was able to deliver last year […]”
“Hernando who worked down the hall and who was large with microbrews came to him and told him that the ship day was upon them but the bugs were not yet out. The bugs which were always there even when you were in Cafes late at night sipping a …”
“Nothing – and I mean nothing – in IT takes less than 80 hours, and whatever you think it’ll actually take, multiply it by 20, and tell management that. You see, 80/20.”
“… people of the Internet, the YTMNDers, trolls of the world, the GameFAQs members, the eBaumers; us old time Internet users, and the newest of noobs, the YouTubers and MySpacers, must band together for a fight that transcends our differences …” :)
Microsoft missing the point with regards to “standards”? Inconceivable! Every time I read stuff like this I wonder if it’s intellectual dishonesty or if the folks over at MS are really this ignorant. You have to lean toward dishonesty here, I think.
Includes a nice chart of the Differentiation of Fat Joe’s Liquid Based Promiscuity :)
Makes sense to me.
Oops: “At $1 billion … Sun paid a multiple of 10 times sales for MySQL today. Optimistically assuming a 20% profit margin, they are looking at a multiple of 50 times earnings for a return on investment of around 2% per year. Optimistically.”
Orson Scott Card: “You can domesticate programmers the way beekeepers tame bees. You can’t exactly communicate with them, but you can get them to swarm in one place and when they're not looking, you can carry off the honey.”
“You think your better then me just because you no grammar?” :)
“Other than the fact our child will be bright, text-based and sarcastic, we will otherwise be a normal family.”
“Groj Sale”
“Like with unix, cells are not ‘spawned’ – they are forked. All cells started out from your ovum which has forked itself many times since. Both halves of the fork() are identical to begin with, but they may from then on decide to do different things.”
“maybe try coding something in c”
“It all started with Windows Vista”
“Whitespace?”
“After careful considering, much soul-searching, gnashing of teeth and rending of garments, it has been decided to reject this PEP.”
From IMil in comments: “Shocking statement #(n+1): 80% of the 80% believe that they belong to [the] 20%.” A recursively shocking statement! i.e., (0..Infinity).inject (0.8) { |x,n| x * 0.8 }
Beautifully executed.
“Modern fascist states don’t even bother to kill those people, and pretending they're going to show up in some stormtrooper outfit and start a gun battle with you is insane.”
“No one party has a monopoly on bullshit” … “it’s not just about talking bullshit, it’s also about living it…”
“… and mounts your shotgun flush at your bedside enabling access to your shotgun while in the laying position in your bed!”
“Did you really name your son Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;—?”
“Facebook isn’t the internet, dipshit.”
“Paul Graham can divide by zero — and the answer is ‘Paul Graham’” … “Paul Graham invented Al Gore” … “Paul Graham is a default constructor. He takes no arguments.”
“It was as if its architects were given a perfectly good hammer and gleefully replied, ‘neat! With this hammer, we can build a tool that can pound in nails.’” — that is THE SINGLE FUNNIEST SENTENCE ever assembled in the history of english language!
The emacs(1) manpage from Bell Labs’s Plan 9.
“I'm not really much into evangelizing Ruby and Rails much nowadays. You know, since we won, I have to admit that it became boring and besides the point.” :)
“Aaaaaaaar! Home a day early, ye are, husband. This varmint a poor stranger be who lost his clothes.” :)
I just had this exact conversation with my wife. No one understands…
An oldy but goody :)
“With the last book, the publisher was so freaked out about ebook piracy that they refused to release an official electronic edition. The result? Fans made their own electronic text in 24 hours. And other fans translated the book into German in 45 hours.”
This just ruined my day. I'm going home. Absolutely horrible. Just horrible.
“Always code as if the person who will maintain your code is a maniac serial killer that knows where you live.”
“So there you have it — lack of units in programming languages and the war in Iraq have a common cause: the lack of correct philosophy on numbers taught in schools.”
“Web designer” is dead on :)
Beautifully done, sir. This should be required reading before anyone is allowed to hit an onramp.
Best Open Letter Ever. Add your signature!
“413 Requested Entity Too Large”
Is anyone actually falling for this crap? “‘The goal is to make it so people never have to see code’, said Gosling.” — Gag Me!
This should immediately supercede your present Ninja Mask technique.
What’s next? which(1)?
“It’s a mutiny of sorts.”
“Results 1 – 10 of about 283,000 for 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0” – This is officially the craziest thing I've ever seen on the internet (with the exception of the Hasselhoffian Recursion).
“Streisand Effect is a category of Internet phenomena in which an attempt to censor or remove a certain piece of information instead backfires, causing the information in question to receive extensive publicity…”
‘The next time you think to sigh, “this code is such a pile of crap” imagine what your grandchildren will say some day when they work on it.’
Pppkkkeeeewwwww.. The happy universe explodes. This is turning into one hell of a discussion.
“Paul Graham originally wrote reddit, in lisp, on the back of a napkin while he was waiting for a coffee. it was so powerful that it had to be rewritten in python just so that ordinary computers could understand it.”
“In the terminology of phonetics, this sound does not appear to have an official name, but might be characterized as a linguolabial trill. It is never used in human language phonemically, but it is widely used across human cultures and by other primates”
“If I want to publish a picture that shows Ronald McDonald smoking a joint made out of the rain forests, I can.”
“also it could be disguised as a cancer research stuff should some disassamble its code. the use-free-computer-time type of thing they do on the net.”
“Microsoft just spent $9 billion and many years to create Vista, so it does not sound reasonable that some new alternative could just snap into existence overnight like that. It would take billions of dollars and a massive effort to achieve.” :)
“Well if Ruby developers are so damn productive, why can’t they write a faster ruby?”
How did we ever get anything done without superfluous quadrants and models. Bring ‘em on. The trick is making something every developer would know is a joke but that could make it past a manager or architect.
“It looks like you are trying to do a regular expression. Do you need some help with that?”
Oh man. This song was not this horribly bad when I was a kid.
Press caps locks. Press caps lock. PRESS CAPS LOCK! Press capital I. Delete I. Press capital I. DELETE I SCROLL THIS CONFLICT. DELETE ADULT SCROLLS CONFLICT FOR C … THANK YOU! Delete THINK YOU.
Wow.I shudder to even observe the brilliance that is _why. There’s an actual Cut-out Adventure Beard here.
// guaranteed to be randon :)
Great research like this is what I love most about the internet.
“Every single day, they come out with a total exploit, your machine can be taken over totally. I dare anybody to do that once a month on the Windows machine.”
While not all bad ideas include a PowerPoint presentation, all PowerPoint presentations include at least one bad idea: PowerPoint.
“There’s a time and place for a penis decal on your forehead and the Monday morning staff meeting is not it.”
Funniest part of the movie; hands down.
Bob Saget: RSS is not a drug! I used to [expletives deleted] for coke. Other Guy: I saw him! Bob Saget: Now that’s an addiction, man. You ever [expletives deleted] for RSS?
This is the “home page” of a professor who teaches web design at St. Cloud State University. Don’t go there.
“Buhdooy!”
“But the company’s board of directors balked and ordered the ad withdrawn from its Super Bowl slot. Only the intervention of Steve Wozniak, who said he'd pay for the spot personally if the board refused to air it, saved the day.”
“… but I gave up after optimizing AWT, implementing drag and drop, and trying to make 1,200 pages of crappy APIs do the right thing on the Mac. Then I took a one-week Cocoa training course, and wrote the first prototype of iChat.”
“I hope you can wipe the screen off!” — I fell off my chair.
“A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break… at the R.J. Reynolds Tobacco corporate offices in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.”
The original SNL / Steve Jobs skit. This is a classic as far as I'm concerned.
Q: Did you learn all you needed to know to be capable of doing the job? A: Yes, bullshitting through the interview provided me with the skills to effectively bullshit to customers…
“A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician were sitting in a street café watching the crowd…”
“All you have to do is change the internal processing, add 200 more methods to the HTTP parser, serve Bittorrent over Ethernet, and have it save Korean orphans while eating a Mango in the back seat of an El Camino driven by twenty midget clowns.”
“When the apocalypse comes, when the world ends as we know it, you can bet someone will be updating Metafilter.”
Cute. The latest Digg flames all in one place :) Kind of Digg zeitgeist, I suppose.
Fix it at the source: “… Thus I propose that we turn off the Sun for roughly 0.2% of each solar day, or two to four minutes every 24 hours.” Brilliant!
This is too funny: “… provides you with the verbiage you need to explain SOA to non-technical people and ‘sell’ its long-term strategic benefits.”
“The demoroniser keeps you from looking dumber than a bag of dirt when your Web page is viewed by a user on a non-Microsoft platform.”
Oh my.
“For n = 12 we perform a total of 364 reps! Thank goodness there aren’t 13 days or we'd have to do 454.”
“I have yet to find a women who wants to be squirted with a Zune. I’ve stopped asking.”
“OH DEAR LORD ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN RIGHT NOW.”
Ranks programmers by who they consider themselves superior to. Comedy.
Bwwwwaaaaahhhahahaaaaahhaa.
That’s what I'm saying. As soon as I saw this guy talking about auto-pilot software crashing a plane due to division by zero, I thought: 5 / 0 rescue nil wtf are you talking about? We've had exception handling, conditionals, and NaN forever.
This guy gets around…
I have no idea … but I'm digging the Kid and TG references ;)
All hail the king adrock.
Q: What do you call a Michigan cheerleader with two brain cells? A: Pregnant
“Then they spend one day debugging shit that’s gone wrong with Eclipse (or its mangling of the CVS repository, or some ant dependency problem, or)… And meanwhile they whine that 256 megs of RAM isn’t enough to edit a fucking text file (and do NOTHING el
“You know what I love about Reddit? Someone can ask a question like this, and not one comment points out how completely ridiculous it is.”
This is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life.
“Why would my sister want to borrow someone else’s broom, you sexist ass? My sister is a lawyer for the friggin' ACLU! before tossing her Napa Valley cab in the poor guy’s face.”
“I could whip you up something in Java that would take 2 minutes to design, 30 minutes to implement, a day to write the deployment descriptor for, and 3 months to get sign off from the app support people at the client site _b”
Fpoon, fpoon, fpoon, fpoon, fpoon.
“The archetypal perversely awful algorithm”
“I can pop my eyes out four centimetres each, it is a gift from God, I feel blessed.”
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
Your mom is like HTML, a tiny
and a whole lot a .“The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and ‘Jeopardy’ comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.”
Unused Audio Commentary By Howard Zinn & Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for The Fellowship of the Ring Platinum Series Extended Edition DVD, Part One
people pay for this shit?
Norse Mythology soooo kicks science’s ass in this issue…
Help a brother out: “if I could make a website to get 2,000,000 hits, she would have a menage a trois (that’s a threesome to you non french-speakers)”
Fairly acurate prescription…
“When I became a convert from Judaism to born-again Christianity after watching The Chronicles of Narnia, I thought things were going to get a lot easier for me…”
Evolution is at work. We leave them to themselves and we'll stick to ourselves, and in another 250,000 years we can eat them as either game or domesticated farm animals. God knows we don’t have to selectively breed them for size.
the best shit ever
Bullshit: “It takes seven years to digest gum”
I do this all the time…
Best post ever.
Serendipitously appeared during a google images search for “newpaper”.
What a surprise!
Holy crap! Where can I get some thermite?
Bwwwahahahahahahahahhaa..
“Guns don’t kill people, Chuck Norris kills people” :)
Dumbass..
I miss this Cory Doctorow: “…a stupid DRM standard for suck-ass next-gen DVDs, arguing that Microsoft’s sellout suck-ass next-gen HD-DVDs are better.”
CSS specifity chart based on Sith power levels — to good to be true.
hahahahaaaa!
haha. this cracked me up…
I don’t even know what to say. Robertson has left reality.
Now kids can get in on all the fun of airport security!
I knew subscribing to the katrina flickr feed would pay off. This is the best picture I've seen yet!
OMFG this is so messed up. I feel so bad for the kid whose parents read this and take it seriously.
“We are willing to pay any individual $250,0000 if they can produce empirical evidence which proves that Jesus is not the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”
Video of a guy plot-spoiling the latest Harry Potter books to a crowd of many in front of Barnes and Noble.
Podcasting Red vs. Blue style?
Whoa. Sock it to ‘em!
“Not everybody can wander around in an alcoholic haze and then at 40 just, you know, decide to be president.”
Brilliant!
The original european zero-wing introduction followed by a load of AYBABTU spottings in teh wild..
oh hell no.
The always insightful James Governor’s with a fist full of insight into insightless topics such t-shirts… weeeeeeee!
As it turn out, Sun Microsystems owns the word “share” and they aren’t sharing it..
that’s some funny shit — “Feynman only needed 2” :)
“FAA regulation that requires soldiers — all of whom were armed with an arsenal of assault rifles, shotguns and pistols — to surrender pocket knives, nose hair scissors and cigarette lighters.”
Holy crap.
Worse is better.
The Sun bashing posts today are superb!
Bwwahhahahahaaa.
“Just remember that the next time you use one of the mainstream languages – many of the "features” were designed with the idea in mind that you, the developer, are a moron."
Finally located while orbiting a strange gaseous planet…
Bwwwhhhaaahhaahahaaaaahhaa!
It’s kind of amazing that at some time in some place in this very universe this actually took place.
Wow! I didn’t think this was actually possible. I'm sure I'll try at some point in my life but I don’t have any dilusions about actually reaching Marc’s level of accomplishment.
About time someone noticed.
that’s some funny shit…
BusinessWeek has “Blogs” on cover but they don’t get it. Predicting a massive takeover of the blogosphere by major corporations – no one is going to some shitty feed-me-PR blog. We have those today, they're called “Corporate Websites” and “Magazines”
Superb slashdot pile-on regarding the switching off of analog TV signals on 1/1/2006. The FCC/MSM do not know what to do since NO ONE will be switched over to digital.
I'm sooo screwed.
I wish I could buy Jon Udell; I'd keep him in my cubical to impress my friends.
Haha! SCO is out of control.
Old Testament meets Lego – brilliant!
The beauty of science ladies and gentlemen.
“System and method for XML parsing” – BEA Systems, Inc.
A debunking and satirical look at the collected works of Paul Graham.
Why Java developers should buy “Practical Common Lisp”.
Best c.l.p thread ever: irritating whitespace-based indentation gone, death of for loop, all strings are regular expressions, and WE FINALLYY GET BRACES! (via Hans Nowak)
The RIAA/MPA lawyer is a complete tool, yo…
How to properly use body language to convey your negative feelings at the office…
$50 fines for anyone who displays his or her… wait for it… no. now.. wait for it…. UNDERPANTS! AHHHHHHH!
that’s what i'm saying, bro..
This is just horrible Dave. Please, stop.. Stop… huuuurrting us.
Has this been entered into the smithsonian yet?
wtf: “Visual Studio lead program manager Jason Weber to show how to build extensions for Microsoft’s IDE.”
Another reason to hate JBoss. :)
For christ sakes, man! I hope Hani doesn’t ever see this…
From Oct 23, 2000 issue of the German language magazine c’t
Oh, my. 3 Millions lines of C++, awk, sed, and scheme! “lets make everything OOP and add 100 layers” style. This is an instant classic.
“She just hit em in the head with a bible!!”
“Someone who points out a problem early is a troublemaker; someone who fixes a problem at the last minute is a hero.”
Rocky warm-up spoof. This guy is my hero.
“Save Money, Save Time, Save Your Ass”
Google for president!
“In the interests of creating employment opportunities in the Java programming field, I am passing on these tips from the masters on how to write code that is so difficult to maintain, that the people who come after you will take years to make even the si
All yo resizzle is shizzilated and shizzle, nizzle..
Finally, CE manufacturers will be placing a badge on their crippled-with-DRM devices to inform the consumer that said devices suck and should be considered broken. Oddly enough, the badge reads: PlaysForSure.
This is almost too painful to watch.
Perfect science experiment for the kids.
“Is it me, or is Jenna Bush holding up the sign of Satan next to her father’s face?”
AAaahhhhhhhh! Stop! Make it stop!
Check out the new Star War’s themed Mr. Potatohead lineup.
Putting the Sans in Comic Sans – The source for anti-comic sans propoganda.
Hooking a mouse up to the Etch A Sketch.. Impressive!
Gabe from Penny Arcade let’s the geezers in on this little secret the whipper-snappers have been hoarding to themselves called “The Internet.” Check it out at your local library!
A nice rant against the Movie Picture Association’s recent inclusion of scary anti-piracy propoganda in DVD and cinema reels.
At least we got a cool flag out of the ordeal..
hahah ahahahah ahahah ahahaa! BBbwwwwhhahahahaaa! ha. hhhaaa. huuh…. ohhhhhh..
haha
ouch!
The frog is probably radioactive too.. it’s pretty big.
We'll be adopting this tradition in my home this Christman. no doubt.
Hani at his finest, lambasting the Groovy project and the Dynamic Java meetup.
I've been looking for an alternative to vasectomy.
Best bug report I've ever seen in my life.
Icon’s fictitious #redhat IRC transcript relaying some of the issues surrounding the Fedora project from the community’s POV. This is a few months old. I hope some of this has been cleared up.
BoingBoing tests the MSN blogs censors..
Love it..
I forgot about the burning shark!
hardcore!
Oh man that’s sad..
“Good, Fast, Cheap: Pick two.” (via Simon Willison)
A guide to calling shotgun.
phaw! how do we know that’s not some other virgin?
Punctuation substitution!
real pooping sounds! fun for the whole office!
Maybe Balmer could include the fact that msn search runs on Linux in his next “Get The Facts” campaign.
The best wtf to date.
IE team on Firefox 1.0 release. The comments have me rolling on the floor. I can’t believe microsoft is letting these guys keep comments on.
This guy is living the dream. I wonder if there’s room in his cave for me and my powerbook. Does he get wifi in there?
Tim Bray redesigns North America for efficiency.
good to know..
“something you could never comprehend conflicts with something that you'd never understand.”
“something you could never comprehend conflicts with something that you'd never understand.”
omfg. make it stop! make the bad man stop!
Includes some quotes from Novak and Carville. Funny Carlson and Begala couldn’t make a single valid point while Stewart was on the show.
Bwwwaaahahahaaa.
Dell Exec: “Spyware installed on roughly 90% of computers.”
US Citizenship 101: Freedom of Expression :)
Almost as good as the guy who was auctioning an “ass whoopin'” on ebay.
Neal Stephenson on UNIX.
It’s hard work! hard hard hard!
“Bush Vows To Pay Closer Attention To Needs Of Non-Presidents”
AirWolf, Alf, The A-Team, Fraggle Rock!, Gadget, Knight Rider, Miami Vice, Thundercats!, Transformers, and many many more!
looks to be from the guys that brought you rockpapersadam.com.
beautiful, beautiful code.
nice..
because it isn’t mine.
“Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur. — Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.”
Breaking up w/ PowerPoint.
